Mermurder.

In the distant/not-distant future, when a colony is developed under a dome at the bottom of the ocean, the following animals will not be permitted:


1. Horses–Too big and messy, and prone to “flying off the handle.”

2. Birds–For obvious reasons…they might fly into the glass dome (birds are notorious for this sort of behavior) and perhaps, breach the integrity of the dome, killing everyone inside. Pet birds that reside only in cages are permitted, but not talking birds (like parrots) because they become easily depressed. Chickens with clipped wings are allowed, but only two per family. No roosters, as residents in undersea cities have a tendency towards gambling addiction.

3. Fish–Just silly and redundant. Undersea colonists eventually learn to despise most aquatic creatures. A special exception is made for bettas, because they are particularly attractive and require little care.

4. Rabbits–Their complete disregard for contraceptive methods disqualifies them.

5. Snow leopards and panda bears–Who are you trying to impress?

6. Hamsters–They are considered the least friendly of all rodents, making them a pointless pet/companion.

7. Guide dogs–All blind residents of the underwater dome city will be equipped with vision-granting visors. It is, after all, the future.

8. Sea monkeys–Obviously.

9. Squirrels and chipmunks–Unfortunately this amazing city of the future lacks trees. Studies have shown that this drives woodland creatures to petty crimes and random acts of violence, as well as an increased tendency towards alcoholism and divorce.

10. Snakes–They are too self-absorbed.
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