Last night I dreamed that I was on some kind of date with this guy. I didn’t really think he was that cute or interesting, but when he said that he was vegan….suddenly he became really attractive. I was nervous, expecting that I would say something stupid at any moment. (And I was also worrying that he might be straight edge, which always makes me feel inexplicably uncomfortable).
Suddenly he gave me a look of horror. “What are you doing?!” I looked down…and realized that I had been absent-mindedly eating pizza–with cheese.
What does this mean?
I should add that I really don’t care about anyone’s eating habits…unless they jam chewed ham into my mouth during a really intense session of frenching. And furthermore, most vegan fellows are about 22 years old OR coincidentally straight edge (which as I’ve mentioned, makes me feel weird…ironic considering my history of unhappy relationships with drug addicts and alcoholics).
And before Janelle picks up her phone to dial my desk extension and say “You are too tense! You have to relax!” I would like to add that this dream was no match for the one I had a few weeks ago wherein I found out that I was adopted and five years older than my real age…all in the midst of nuclear fallout and an adjustment to post-apocalyptic life. So I must be less anxious this week…right?